In the blink of an eye, the Idol thunders into the sky. Pretty cool. You've done it again Mr Moon. Great fairy tale. Love all the stork fore shadowing. And the off screen stuff you were feeding me about the doppleganger story. You were priming me for the offscreen crushing of the idol. Which is a great way to do it. Comics needs more of that. Imagination working better than illustration just like in movies and radio. Time for the fantagraphics pitch. You're almost up to 200 pages ( I think ) Time the comic book fan world had a big nice book in their hands
Loffink in all ways. BUT I get confused in leap between last entry and this one...? Maybe it's as much the gap between readings, but I've re-read it three times and I guess I just get spatially thrown when Raymond decides to fly away from chamber where archaeologist is held by statue, and then Ray leaves the space (I think) and then archaeologist falls from sky...?
That confuses me a bit.
I follow all of the other dream-map landscape.
Love the "fantasia" fade out. Esply use of color and the texture of the rocks (for some reason I'm not as wildly in love with the way you've rendered Ray here as in every other panel...I'll look more closely).
Marty, I made changes to the pictures you referenced in both this post and the last one. See what you think. Also added a recap panel to the last post so as to reduce the visual transition.
HA! Tommy, I just looked at yr changes with the additional "Raymond Spirits" and I'm laffing my ass off. I really love it--LOFFINK ITK, in fact. I thought it was clever as hell the way you did it--but now I'm worried it was my own pet peeve and I've put you to a lot of work.
And yes--duh!--I totally misread the panel where it's the IDOL who flies off...no excuse for missing that after three (or more) reads...maybe it's that Ray's crouch--which must be a reaction to the idol flying off--reads as anticipation to fly to me. The frame becomes a time lapse within the same panel when I look at it...partly it's the motion of the idol (his swoosh and dust cloud) looking like they are on Raymond's action path...not that there's anything wrong with the way you put it, spatial or mechanically or whatever--but my (former animator's) brain links the positions and actions in that way.
HA! That spirit watching him descend adds a whole new layer of pathos! At least...it does for me!!
This morning I thought about what you said about Raymond's standing pose in combination with the "Whoosh" suggests that it is Raymond who is flying off. I changed the pose so that now Raymond remains kneeling and merely raises his head to watch the idol fly off. Hopefully that will read better.
Tommy, it's funny--I "read" and "re-read" that sequence of panels and it's probably a black mark on me that I kept misreading the action. I should remember you are a classicist!
Yeah, I really like the pathos of the spirit following Raymond down...sort of "out of body" observer--literally!
Why is the stork introduced two pages before the guy becomes a baby? Maybe have it way in the background when Raymond is squishing the guy. Was the de-aging the judgement that is on Raymond's list?
There are two birth allusions, Raymond goes through a canal of goop and the bearded guy gets carried off by a stork, am I right?
A good question Ben. Perhaps the stork should not appear until the very end. Originally, storks were supposed to be kind of ubiquitous in this universe and "hang out" as part of the environment, ready to swoop in at a moment's notice. Kind of the opposite of vultures ready to swoop in when something dies. But there wasn't enough room in enough panels to imply that, so the appearance of one in the early panels does seem a little odd.
Again, I'm glad you guys are here to read my stuff with an objective eye.
13 comments:
In the blink of an eye, the Idol thunders into the sky. Pretty cool. You've done it again Mr Moon. Great fairy tale. Love all the stork fore shadowing. And the off screen stuff you were feeding me about the doppleganger story. You were priming me for the offscreen crushing of the idol. Which is a great way to do it. Comics needs more of that. Imagination working better than illustration just like in movies and radio.
Time for the fantagraphics pitch. You're almost up to 200 pages ( I think ) Time the comic book fan world had a big nice book in their hands
Thanks Ellis! Yeah, implying stuff is a great way to save budget money (or drawing time) and put the power of the audience's imagination to work.
And I left some more movie notes for you too. See what you think. We are going to have to move your movie discussion back up to the top soon.
Great the way the spot color lollipop works so well. Contrast. Works every time.
Loffink in all ways. BUT I get confused in leap between last entry and this one...? Maybe it's as much the gap between readings, but I've re-read it three times and I guess I just get spatially thrown when Raymond decides to fly away from chamber where archaeologist is held by statue, and then Ray leaves the space (I think) and then archaeologist falls from sky...?
That confuses me a bit.
I follow all of the other dream-map landscape.
Love the "fantasia" fade out. Esply use of color and the texture of the rocks (for some reason I'm not as wildly in love with the way you've rendered Ray here as in every other panel...I'll look more closely).
What I was trying to communicate between the last entry and this one was the way Ellis interpreted it in his first comment here.
"In the blink of an eye, the Idol thunders into the sky."
Raymond doesn't fly from that chamber. The idol does.
But I'm glad you told me that it confuses you. I'll see if anybody else has a hard time with that. I might have to re-think.
Marty, I made changes to the pictures you referenced in both this post and the last one. See what you think. Also added a recap panel to the last post so as to reduce the visual transition.
HA! Tommy, I just looked at yr changes with the additional "Raymond Spirits" and I'm laffing my ass off. I really love it--LOFFINK ITK, in fact. I thought it was clever as hell the way you did it--but now I'm worried it was my own pet peeve and I've put you to a lot of work.
And yes--duh!--I totally misread the panel where it's the IDOL who flies off...no excuse for missing that after three (or more) reads...maybe it's that Ray's crouch--which must be a reaction to the idol flying off--reads as anticipation to fly to me. The frame becomes a time lapse within the same panel when I look at it...partly it's the motion of the idol (his swoosh and dust cloud) looking like they are on Raymond's action path...not that there's anything wrong with the way you put it, spatial or mechanically or whatever--but my (former animator's) brain links the positions and actions in that way.
HA! That spirit watching him descend adds a whole new layer of pathos! At least...it does for me!!
No no, I'm glad you commented Marty. I think it plays stronger and more clearly with the changes now.
This morning I thought about what you said about Raymond's standing pose in combination with the "Whoosh" suggests that it is Raymond who is flying off. I changed the pose so that now Raymond remains kneeling and merely raises his head to watch the idol fly off. Hopefully that will read better.
Tommy, it's funny--I "read" and "re-read" that sequence of panels and it's probably a black mark on me that I kept misreading the action. I should remember you are a classicist!
Yeah, I really like the pathos of the spirit following Raymond down...sort of "out of body" observer--literally!
Why is the stork introduced two pages before the guy becomes a baby? Maybe have it way in the background when Raymond is squishing the guy. Was the de-aging the judgement that is on Raymond's list?
There are two birth allusions, Raymond goes through a canal of goop and the bearded guy gets carried off by a stork, am I right?
Ben, I believe this story was even originally titled "A Trip Down Stork Canal."
A good question Ben. Perhaps the stork should not appear until the very end. Originally, storks were supposed to be kind of ubiquitous in this universe and "hang out" as part of the environment, ready to swoop in at a moment's notice. Kind of the opposite of vultures ready to swoop in when something dies. But there wasn't enough room in enough panels to imply that, so the appearance of one in the early panels does seem a little odd.
Again, I'm glad you guys are here to read my stuff with an objective eye.
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